India Oddities

Today I continue with my segment known as India Oddities. There are so many moments that occur throughout my daily life here that leave me wide-eyed, shaking my head, smiling and appropriately saying “Only in India.”

In the States, one of our greatest assets is also one overlooked by almost every citizen of our nation. It’s not our shopping centers or skyscrapers or subways – it’s our clean and abundant availability of public restrooms. You don’t miss them until they are gone – trust me…

There are few public restrooms in India and those that do exist…well, let’s just say you are better off finding a bush. So in fact, that is exactly what Indians do. However, I don’t know if it is the years of conditioning to life without public restrooms, a convenience factor, or perhaps complete disregard for sanitary conditions and public health, but Indians use the entire city as a public restroom. Yes friends, they number one and two their way all around town. Granted, number one is more prevalent, but I would be fibbing if I said I haven’t seen people squatting for a deuce more than a fistful of times. Gross but true…

I think this seems hard to believe, so let me give you too much information, solely to state my case for this India oddity. Certain stretches of highway seem notorious as public restrooms for some reason. One day, for sheer fun or boredom, I counted within a two mile stretch the number of Honda Heroes and men pulled to the side of the road performing unhygienic acts. The lucky number was thirteen. Perhaps what is most unbelievable is that they do not hide nor care who watches them. You know you are too close for comfort when you can hear the zipper unzip. Apparently, there is no stage-fright in India as the whole city can see.

Being witness to urine arches minimally twenty times per day, I had to wonder where women use the restroom. In the name of gender equality, if so many men feel the urge, women must too. Are they more cautious to hide behind bushes? Do they dehydrate themselves? It was a burning question, so I brought up the taboo topic with a trusted female friend. She laughed. “Yes, women go too,” she admitted. “They wear sarees, so they can stand, pee and then just walk away as if nothing happened.” I just shook my head in disbelief. Being in Chennai during the dry season, one may at first wonder why all the puddles. Let me be the first to warn you, it’s not water…